Ten days after giving birth to my son, Mateo, I was able to walk, but not much more than a few careful steps from couch to bathroom.
I was still bleeding. I was fighting mastitis, a breast infection that delivered a high fever and the worst chills I have ever experienced. Did I mention I was breastfeeding nearly every 45 minutes around the clock? I was totally in love, and completely exhausted.
Luckily for me, I didn’t have to go back to work right after Mateo’s birth. But the same is not true for far too many American women. In fact, about one quarter of mothers in the United States have no choice but to return to work within 10 days of having a baby — many of them still bleeding, still trying to establish breastfeeding, completely exhausted, and often traumatized by leaving their newborns at a time when they need their mothers most.
“At times I feel deeply disappointed that I couldn’t manage to fight harder for what every mother, including me, deserves: time and space to heal and to bond with her new baby.”
In an effort to learn more about the issue, I put together an informal survey that I shared on Facebook and Twitter. One respondent, Katey Zeh, a maternal health advocate with the United Methodist Church, shared her story of lacking access to family leave: In 2014, she gave birth on a Monday, returned to work emails on a Friday, and fully returned to work the following Monday.
Paid parental leave is “partially about economic justice, but it’s also about my parenting — and my family — being affirmed by our society,” Zeh said. In a blog post, she describes in a bit more detail what the lack of leave meant to her:
Now that my daughter is six months old I look back on that time with a lot of regret. If I couldn’t advocate for myself, what kind of advocate was I anyway? If I couldn’t advocate for my kid, what kind of mother did that make me? At times I feel deeply disappointed that I couldn’t manage to fight harder for what every mother, including me, deserves: time and space to heal and to bond with her new baby.
Another respondent, a Catholic school teacher from Ohio who asked that her name not be published, said she loved her work but knew she would not be ready to return to its long hours only four weeks after giving birth — the amount of partial pay leave her employer offered. She also knew that her husband’s work would not allow him to share the home responsibilities, as his job required even longer hours and offered no paternity leave benefits. She left the job she loved. Continue reading