Lisa M. joined a gym as soon as she started college at Bridgewater State University, determined not to pack on an extra 15 pounds freshman year like her older sister.
“In my head there was that picture of my sister,” Lisa said in an interview. “I didn’t want that to happen to me.”
For the next six years, Lisa says, she never missed a day at the gym unless it was preplanned and she could make it up later. In order to fulfill her self-imposed exercise requirements, Lisa skipped Christmas Eve gatherings, birthdays, weddings and dates with someone she loved and “very likely lost” because of her illness, she says.
“Every aspect of my life was dictated by exercise and food and the need to control it all,” says Lisa, who asked that her last name not be used because she is still in treatment.
“Every aspect of my life was dictated by exercise and food and the need to control it all.”
The thought of missing even one daily workout triggered massive anxiety, she says. And as her exercise obsession deepened, she began restricting her food intake too, mostly to salads and vegetables. She had “fear foods” she’d avoid: no cake, brownies or cookies, of course, but also, no cheese or pasta. Thoughts about food and exercise consumed her: “Any extra energy I had would go to…thinking about my next meal, my next snack, what I’d be able to eat next. I’d plan meals a week ahead.”
Her weight dropped to 112 pounds on a 5-foot-6 frame. She hasn’t had a period in six years. Now, as a result, Lisa, who is 25, has osteoporosis in her lower spine and hip.
“I worked so hard to be healthy, but I’m not,” she says. “And I did this to myself.” Continue reading